With Indiana and Arkansas being in the national spotlight for their state’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act, there has been a lot of attention on homosexuality and discrimination. A little over a year ago, I wrote a paper outlining the topics of marriage, divorce, and gender identity; all from a Biblical worldview. With these issues encroaching closer and closer into our lives, it’s wise for Christians to have reasoned response. Over the next several days, I’ll post excerpts from this paper in hopes that they will give Christians ground to stand on, as well as talking points for those who believe/think differently. First up is marriage in general.
In a conversation like this, it is only natural to begin with marriage. It doesn’t take long in reading the history of mankind in the pages of the Bible to see that human relationships begin with here. The most basic and important of all human relationships is marriage. Very shortly after Adam was created, it became glaringly apparent that he was alone in the world. Yes, he was surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation, yet nothing was like him. He had no companion. It was only after God placed Adam in a deep sleep and performed the first surgery that a suitable helper was created and God performed the first wedding in history. The marriage between Adam and Eve set the standard for all other marriages to come after. In its most pure form, there was no contention, no shame and no difficulty. In addition to this, even before Adam and Eve were able to procreate, their relationship was established as the foremost human relationship on Earth. No parent and child, no siblings, no other relationship no matter how deep and meaningful would be able to bear the weight which was given to marriage. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Herein lies a command to leave father and mother, but never in all of Scripture will there be found a command to leave one’s spouse. This first marriage was by God’s design. As it was in the first two chapters of Genesis, it was pure, holy and perfect. Sadly, marriage did not stay that way. Marriage has been impacted greatly by the presence of sin in the world. Much of sin’s consequences in Genesis 3 complicate marriage: child bearing (and rearing) will be painful and difficult, there will be much contention between the husband and the wife and the husband will struggle to draw produce and provisions from the land. And while God is making these consequences known, Adam and Eve stand, likely with tears in their eyes and their heads hanging. But God did not allow them to stay in that state for long. In his mercy, he quickly redeemed them with a blood sacrifice. Clothed with garments of skin, blood had to be shed for their sin to be covered. By His mercy, the blood was not their own. How important then, must this relationship be to God! Adam and Eve were quickly redeemed and allowed to continue with their mandate to be fruitful and multiply. They were once again able to consider the Lord in their lives and acknowledge his help and provision (Genesis 4:1). Though at this point much of this remained a mystery to Adam and Eve, it is later to be revealed as a picture of the Gospel. “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).
Clearly however, not all people hold such a high view of marriage. Even the healthiest marriages by the world’s standards are founded largely on the basis of positive emotions and mutual benefits. These two elements added together become a distorted form of love that appears strong and solid, but is actually severely lacking. Today’s world leads us to believe that a marriage consisting of two people who truly love each other will be blissful, easy and problem free. There is no acknowledgement of sin, conflict or suffering. All things difficult will be overcome by the strength of the love that the two have for each other. Of course, the problem lies in the fact that sin, conflict, and suffering are real and this definition of love does not have the power to overcome any of it. When either element enters into the marriage relationship, it becomes acceptable (and even encouraged) to break the commitment and seek happiness elsewhere. The search for this shallow happiness has paved the way for all sorts of damage done to the institution of marriage. Marriages are easily disposed. Perhaps the most telling consequence of this subjective view of marriage is the rise in support for homosexual marriages. The traditional definition of marriage (and the definition given by God) has been thrown out and replaced with a much lesser definition; one that opens wide the door to destruction. Marriage is no longer unique to male and female.
Though this low view of marriage is common, it simply does not hold up under the weight of what marriage really is. It is so much more than emotions. It is true that positive emotions are extremely important to a healthy marriage. It only takes a cursory reading of the Song of Solomon or how Jacob’s love for Rachel made fourteen years feel like only a few days (Genesis 29:18-20) to see that positive emotions are vital. But instead of emotions being a foundation of a marriage, as is the belief in our culture today, emotions are better to be treated as a gauge within a marriage. Instead, marriage and love is a commitment both to God and to one’s spouse, as God originally designed it. Going back to Genesis 2:24, marriage is designed to bring two people together in unity, never to be separated. This is also supported by what Jesus said in Mark 10:9, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.” It is God that designed the bringing together of a man and a woman, therefore nothing else should have the power over marriage to separate that bond; least of all flighty emotions. Paul makes this point as well in Ephesians 5. Why does the Bible have to warn married couples so many times not to separate? It is because marriage is messy and the marriage is made up of two sinners in the middle of the sanctification process. Marriage both requires and provides sanctification. Consider what Paul said in Ephesians 5:26-27 is the goal of the husband. “To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Likewise, women are to perform the same function for their husbands. “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives” (1 Peter 3:1-2). These verses directly confront the messiness that is often found within marriages. In response to the common idea that marriage is the result of a feelings-based love, a positive-emotion driven and seeking relationship can never stand under the weight of a marriage that requires and produces God-given sanctification. This is also why though many homosexual “marriages” may last a long tenure, they will never be healthy, they will never grow in maturity and the individuals will never be happy.
I suspect that you will react in one of two ways after reading this: “Yes! Amen!” Or, “What a bigoted caveman!” Either way, let’s start a conversation. Comment below (and keep it PG, please).
But God teaches us that it’s a result of putting our faith in things that fail us. I’m not dismissing the validity of mental illness and chemical imbalances, but spiritual problems can often lead to physical ailments. We ought not settle for a self-help book, a pill, or gender reassignment to help us feel better. Here is one of the great lies of our culture: Our anxiety, depression, fear, etc. is not a spiritual issue. It is physical in its entirety and should be treated the same as cancer, a broken bone, or the common cold.
Have a Few Words 